Wednesday, September 28, 2005


Just testing out Hello and I'm using this recent snap of Caitlin, she will just love me when she gets older! Posted by Picasa

Saturday, September 24, 2005

My Angels


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Anti Social Behaviour

I have to come clean and admit that since having Lauren I’ve developed a weird social phobia.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I’m afraid to make contact with anyone.

I’m afraid to make arrangements to go out for the night, yet I’d love a girl’s night out and Ivan is only too happy to babysit.

I think I’m afraid to find out that I don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation anymore, other than talk of poo, nappies & bottles! I’m afraid that I’ll bore people.

To be honest, it is starting to get me down and in an effort to overcome this new phobia I got in touch with Lynn (a friend I met through work and lives in the next street) and invited her round for a Coffee & Craft morning.

I’m glad I did! We had coffee and chatted. Didn’t do much crafting but Lynn is interested in giving it a go and agrees we should try to get together every now and again to do this. I’m thinking of seeing if she wants to go to the cinema next week or for a bite to eat. Just plucking up the courage to ask.

Other than that, I’m avoiding everyone.

I felt weird when I went into work for a visit the other week but again, afterwards, I’m glad I did. Only thing is I’ve been invited to a lunch on Monday to launch the arrival of our new ship. VIP’s, customers, Directors etc. will all be there and I know I’ll want to blend into the background. This is so not like me.

I’ve also noticed that I’m taking a back seat on a couple of the discussion boards I belong to. I hardly post anything and stick to the same few areas of interest out of safety. I hardly ever comment on others peoples posts and I hate to not offer my support so again this is not like me. I’ve even held of posting on this blog cause I think I’ve nothing to say.

I feel like I’m blending into the background of what was my life.

I feel like I’m disappearing.

Someone shake me.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

WooHoo

Over 4000 visitors to my blog.

Thank you.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Our Trip to the Emergency Room

Lauren got her 1st jabs on Thursday afternoon was really unsettled for a few days afterwards, which I expected. She wanted cuddled, didn't like to be set down. She wasn't feeding well and cried for 4 hours solid on Friday night.

Then on Saturday I noticed a rash, mostly on her front upper torso, back & neck. I did the glass test and it went away, so I was thinking just a reaction to the shots rather than something like meningitis.

She didn't run a temp and in my heart I knew it wasn't anything too sinister. I spoke to my sister, who is a nurse and she told me what to look out for but overall Lauren was in good spirits.

Well, when we got up this morning the rash had spread all over her body, face & head and looked very angry. Even her little eyes were swollen, so I ended up taking her to hospital.

We were there for 4+ hours. They thought she looked very pale and check her bloods but this and every other test the ran showed nothing.

They think the rash is as a result of a viral infection (unrelated to the jabs) and we were able to go home after the urine test came back clear. I've just to keep an eye on her and her temp.

As I say, in herself she is fine, still laughing & talking away. Eating less but sleeping more.

I hope the little mite feels better tomorrow.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Role Play

Just two quickies!

Caitlin has started to role play more and more now. She even does the voices for her dolls and teddies when playing..

The other day she was playing a school in her bedroom. Ivan and I could hear a lot of shouting, thing like “You are very naughty” “Don’t do that!”
I had to sneak upstairs to take a peak and she had a lot of dolls sitting on her pillow while she was sitting on the bed reading them a story. There was a small pile of teddies on the floor and I asked if they fell off the bed to which Caitlin replied “No mummy, they were bold and they are in the naughty corner” Then she said to the pile on the floor “There, are you sorry now!”

Also, in the car the other day she had a Barbie like doll and was talking away to it. Then I heard “Be good or I will tie you up!”. I looked round and she was threatening Barbie with her pink pearl necklace. I asked her what she was doing and she said “Like my wrist strap when I run away!”.


Oh my. I’ve created a monster.


It’s not like I’m constantly reprimanding her but now I’m going to have to watch what I say. Funny thing is, I always said to Ivan that Caitlin is the type of child that will go into school and tell her teacher everything! She remembers everything.

Compare and Contrast

Whilst feeding Lauren the other night I got to thinking of the differences between her and Caitlin.

At 8 weeks old ::

Lauren is now 12lb 10oz
Caitlin was 13lb 4.5oz

Lauren is now 60cm long
Caitlin was 60cm long

Lauren takes approx 5-6oz every 4 hours
Caitlin took 6-7oz every 3-4 hours

Caitlin drank every bottle like it was her last! She gulped her milk down in record time. Lauren likes to take her time, savour the moment and in turn give whoever is feeding her a dead arm! We now know that if you are about to feed Lauren, you should go to the toilet, grab the TV remote control, puff up the cushions and settle in for the long haul. Both girls hung/hang (with a grip of death) onto a finger of the hand that is holding the bottle.

Lauren reminds me of a Little Turtle. After a feed, when I have her up on my shoulder to get winded, she tucks both hands in under her chin and pushes her head right back. It’s so darn cute to look down at. I just love her little pursed lips!

Caitlin always reminded us of a Fat Frog! After a feed, when we had her up on the shoulder to get winded, she would tuck both arms into her chest and pulled her knees up so she was just lying on top of you. Blind faith kept her there ~ blind faith that you would cradle and protect her! To this day she still does it, say, if she has fallen asleep in the car and you’ve to carry her into the house. Only problem now is her size verses my size and point of balance! I have to walk leaning backwards to compensate.

Although Lauren and Caitlin look very much alike, I feel Lauren looks a lot like her dad, while Caitlin looks a lot like me.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Eternal Optimist

Caitlin’s behaviour goes from one extreme to the other at the minute and I don‘t know if it‘s related to her age or to Lauren!

One day she can be loving, funny, obedient and inquisitive. The next day she will be wilful, cheeky, disobedient ~ almost driving me to tears.

I’m trying all the tips and tricks recommended on programmes such as Supernanny, Nanny 911 and Little Angels. We do the Time Out or the Naughty Stair (or bedroom if Lauren is sleeping!). She says sorry afterwards and when asked knows what exactly she did wrong, so she understands.

I have to be clever about what I threaten her with. What I mean is, if I say “Stop doing that. Do you want to go to your room?” She answers “Yes”. Or, if I say “Stop trying to break that toy or I’ll give it to the boys & girls who don’t have any toys” She replies “OK. Here”

Out and about in town the other day she got the better of me. She kept running off in shops. Wouldn’t listen. Wouldn’t come back when I asked or even stop when I called her name. So what did I do? I frog-marched her straight to Mothercare and bought a wrist strap! I’ve explained that when she is naughty or runs away - it goes on! When she is good - she can walk beside the pram. We’ll see how this works!!!!

I don’t want to start smacking but sometimes I feel it might be the only way to get through to her. I know this is not true and I know it is just an immediate reaction to whatever she has done verses my rising stress levels!

I’m hoping and praying that Playgroup will be the miracle answer to my silent prayers!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

In Summary

Got the all clear at the doctors but also got another course of antibiotics too! My wound has still not healed completely. I have a tiny little whole right in the middle of the scar line, strange but I’ve grown to like it! I’ve to go and get it dressed every couple of days. I’ve been twice! I just don’t get the time and the thought of going to the surgery with the 2 girls is sometimes frightening. However, that said, I will go tomorrow morning when I am one girl short, lol.

Lauren was up to 11 lb 12.5 oz at last weeks weigh in. She gets her 8 week baby check and first round of shots next Thursday. Not looking forward to that. Would rather Ivan took her but at the same time want to be there for her!

Caitlin started playgroup today. Just one hour a day for the first week, then 3 hours every morning after that. She needs it and I need it. I know she will love it. All she talks about is going to school and her teacher and her “Bends” (friends).

Ivan is doing a lot better. He has good days and bad days. He has returned to work and I think that is helping him a little.

The computer crashed last week and we lost a lot of photos we had not yet got round to backing up. So take heed! I was so disappointed at losing Laurens pictures. I have a few I’d put online but now I’m taking lots more to make up for it.

Talking photos, I finally got round to collecting our official wedding photos last night! Yep, it’s our 1st anniversary on Sunday and I just got the photos back. Still have to get them into an album but hopefully we’ll have that done before our 2nd anniversary.

We’ve nothing planned yet for Sunday. Bad news is Ivan is on call this week and can‘t get cover for the weekend. Good news is my mum is insisting on taking both girls on Saturday evening overnight! I’m trying to organise something special for Saturday, so I’ll keep you informed!