I will get time to update the site next week. I'm sure when my head is clear I'll have lots to say and tell you about.

Unfortunately we lost Ivan's mum this week. We came home from hospital on Thursday afternoon and Ivan called to visit her in the evening and found her body. The past few days have been really tough and there is no light yet at the end of the tunnel.

Lauren's homecoming was not as expected and we feel a bit deflated about that but the main thing is getting through the 'now'. We are a strong family and when things settle, we can be thankful for our bundle of joy.

Ivan feels bad about not being here for me and the baby considering I'm still in pain etc. and I in turn feel bad about not being there for him when he needs me most.

Poor Caitlin has been shipped off to my sisters and I'm frightened that she might associate it with the new baby but I understand it is what's best for her at present.