I’ve been on the Happy Pills just over a week now. 11 days to be precise. Have I noticed a difference? I’ve been advised that they can take up to 4 - 6 weeks to work but I can report that I have had no crying episodes during these 11 days.
Maybe that is down to the pills, maybe that is down to me. Who knows?
I think maybe facing it head on and talking to the doctor about my crazy mixed up emotions has helped me. Definitely. I think maybe there is a chance I’ll not slip any deeper. I’ll just about be able to keep my head above water as long as I remember to talk to people about how I’m feeling. That’s ok as long as people are willing to listen!
I have felt angry for no reason. It just wells up inside me. Thankfully it’s not directed at anyone other than me, it’s just a feeling that descends when I do something wrong for example.
I’ve also felt confused or found that I’m not able to concentrate on things. I can’t seem to make a list and stick to it. I get easily distracted and this pisses me off no end cause I’m a list freak. I love writing lists. Things To Do, Shopping, Christmas Gifts, Cleaning etc……. I list everything! Now, I can only write down about 3 thing and then think “oh, what’s the point” So not me.
I’m still very paranoid. I still think people are looking at me and putting me down. I still want to avoid friends and family. I had to go into town the other day to leave something into my mum at her place of work and got caught up in a bomb scare afterwards. Now that in itself wasn’t scary, no. Problem was, my car was locked in a car park and I was unable to get it out due to the evacuation. I sprang into action and arranged for Ivan to leave work and go collect Caitlin then I crumbled. I thought no point in going back to my mum, she won’t want me to bother her. I walked around town aimlessly for a while, feeling sorry for myself, then started talking to myself! Bad move. I started telling myself to get a grip and wise up. Go get a coffee somewhere, take shelter from the rain until the scare ends. But I didn’t listen and ended up walking around like a lemon, avoiding eye contact for 2 hours and not buying a single item!
Is there any hope for me!
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3 comments:
You sound exactly like I did before I started my Mother's Little Helpers (my version of the Happy Pills). It does take a few weeks for the drugs to take over and "fix your head." It's coming, and yes...there's hope.
You should come check out the other side of me at www.pinktangerine2.blogspot.com to see what a mess I really am. Texas Ducks is all about my kids, I think you'd enjoy my other site as well.
Merry Christmas and know that help is on its way through those pills.
((hug)) It will continue to get better. Only take steps that you're comfortable with, if that means walking around in the rain for 2 hours then so be it! Just know you're not alone, there are many people who are rooting for you and wish you all the best (like me!)
Hey Gorgeous.
We've all been there to some extent or another. I keep on wanting to PM you but I always stop myself so you don't feel like a lunatic. If you want to talk about the kids or work and whatever else, you know how to reach me.
I will tell you this, it WILL get better. :)
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